Do you keep having the same fight... just with different words?

Stop the Cycle That's Stealing Your Connection, And Turn Conflict Into Closeness in a digestible mini course for couples!

Discover the framework that helps you move from "We're just roommates" to "We're a team again", no expensive therapy or awkward scripts required.

GET INSTANT ACCESS - $57

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You're Stuck in a Cycle You Didn't Know Existed

Here's what I know about you.

You love your partner. You really do. But lately, it feels like you're speaking different languages.

Maybe you're the one who reaches out, asks questions, tries to connect—only to watch them retreat into their phone, their work, or silence.

You tell yourself you shouldn't have to ask for attention.

But the loneliness is getting unbearable.

Or maybe you're the one who shuts down during conflict because you don't want to make things worse.

You see the hurt in their eyes, but you freeze.

You don't know what to say, so you say nothing.

And the distance just grows.

Either way, you're exhausted.

The small stuff—dishes, schedules, who said what—turns into blowout fights. Or worse, it turns into cold silence that lasts for days.

You lay in bed next to someone you once couldn't wait to see. And now you feel a million miles away.

You're not fighting because you hate each other. You're fighting because you're terrified of losing each other, and you don't know how to stop the cycle.

Here's the worst part: You've tried. You've read the articles about "I statements" and "active listening." You've promised to do better after the last fight.

But when emotions run high, all of that goes out the window. And you're right back where you started.

You're beginning to wonder if this is just how it's going to be. The honeymoon phase is over. The patterns have set in.

But what if that's not true? What if the problem isn't your partner, and it isn't you? What if the real enemy is the Cycle itself?

Your Fights Aren't Actually About the Dishes

Here's what most people don't understand about relationship conflict: Your fights aren't actually about the dishes, the phone, or who forgot to text back. They're about one core question:

"Are you there for me?"

When you criticize or demand...

You're not trying to nag. You're panicking because you feel invisible.

When you withdraw or shut down...

You're not being cold. You're overwhelmed and trying not to make things worse.

You're both stuck in what therapists call the Pursuer/Withdrawer Cycle:

→ One person pushes for connection (criticism, questions, demands)

← The other pulls away to avoid conflict (silence, distraction, shutdown)

→ The more one pushes, the more the other withdraws

← The more one withdraws, the more the other panics and pushes harder

And the cycle spins faster and faster until you're both exhausted, resentful, and convinced it will never change.

Patterns Can Be Mapped, And Interrupted

But here's the truth that changed everything for me (and for the couples I work with every day): Patterns can be mapped. And once they're mapped, they can be interrupted.

You don't need to be perfect communicators. You don't need to never fight again. You just need one tool that works in the moment, when your heart is racing, when you want to scream or walk away, when you feel like your partner will never understand.

The Tenderness Switch: Stop a 3-Day Fight in 5 Minutes

That tool is what I call The Tenderness Switch. It's a simple 3-step framework that helps you interrupt the automatic fight cycle and guide yourself back to safety in under 5 minutes.

This isn't about stuffing down your feelings or pretending everything is fine.

It's about understanding what's really happening beneath the anger or the silence, and having the exact words to say in that moment so your partner can actually hear you.

When you use the Tenderness Switch, something incredible happens:

The fight that would've lasted three days ends in five minutes.

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My Relationship Didn't Come With a Manual Either

I created this course because I lived this cycle myself.

My relationship didn't come with a manual. And for a long time, I thought that meant we just had to figure it out through trial and error, lots of error.

But then I started sitting with couples in my therapy practice. And I saw the same patterns showing up again and again.

Different people. Different fights. Same cycle.

That's when I realized something:

We're not failing at relationships because we're broken. We're struggling because no one ever taught us how to do this.

So I started teaching my clients the exact framework I wish someone had taught me: how to map the cycle, interrupt it, and create emotional safety that lasts.

I watched couples go from "We can't stop fighting" to "We know how to repair now" in a matter of weeks.

I watched Withdrawers learn to stay in the room.

I watched Pursuers learn to translate their panic into connection.

And I thought: Why should this only be available to people who can afford weekly therapy?

That's why I built From Tension to Tenderness Mini-Course, a self-paced course that gives you the same tools I teach in my practice, packaged in a way you can use immediately, even in the middle of a fight.

Hi, I'm Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT

I'm a couples therapist, educator, and creator who helps people build healthier, more connected relationships. I've spent years sitting with couples in the hardest, most tender moments of their lives.

And one thing I know for sure: relationships don't come with a manual, and mine certainly didn't.

I built my therapy practice, Embracing Joy Psychotherapy, in NYC to help couples slow down conflict, understand their patterns, and learn how to turn toward each other instead of away.

When I started sharing psychoeducation online, my content went viral, reaching millions of people who were craving guidance, compassion, and language for what they were experiencing in their relationships.

Today, through my courses, resources, and daily content, I teach couples what no one ever taught us growing up: how to repair after conflict, communicate needs without escalating, and create emotional safety that lasts.

My work blends science, storytelling, and real-life relationship wisdom. Because healthy love isn't luck. It's a skill. And anyone can learn it.

Why Other Relationship Advice Hasn't Worked

You've probably tried other relationship advice before.

Maybe you read articles about "I statements" that felt robotic and didn't work when you were actually upset.
Maybe you've been told to "just calm down" when your nervous system was in full fight-or-flight mode.
Maybe you even tried therapy, but the weekly sessions felt too slow, too expensive, or too far away from the moments when you actually needed help.

Here's why From Tension to Tenderness Mini-Course is different:

This isn't a communication hack. It's a deep psychological shift based on how your brain processes safety.

Other programs teach you what to say. This course teaches you how to interrupt the automatic cycle that hijacks your prefrontal cortex and makes all those scripts fly out the window.

You'll learn:

✓ Why your fights follow the same pattern (and how to map your specific cycle)
✓ How to catch yourself before the cycle takes over
✓ What to say when your heart is racing and you want to scream or shut down
✓ How to translate criticism into connection and silence into safety
✓ Simple daily rituals that build secure attachment over time

This is the cheat sheet you can put on your fridge. The tool you can use in the moment. The framework that works even when you're flooded.

And it's designed for real life, for busy couples juggling careers, kids, and a million other things who need something that actually works in under 5 minutes.

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Everything You Need to Interrupt the Cycle

When you enroll in From Tension to Tenderness, you get immediate access to:

The Complete Video Training (Just 5 Minutes)

A focused, digestible video lesson that walks you through the Pursuer/Withdrawer Cycle, the science of attachment, and the exact Tenderness Switch framework I use with my therapy clients. No fluff—just what you need to understand and use the framework today."

The Tenderness Switch Cheat Sheet

A simple, printable guide you can keep on your fridge or nightstand so you have the 3-step framework (Pause, Translate, Reach) at your fingertips when you need it most.

The Cycle Mapping Workbook

Identify your specific pattern, what triggers you, what you do, what your partner does, and how to interrupt it before it spirals.

Journal Prompts for Deeper Connection

Reflective questions that help you understand your own attachment wounds and communicate your needs with clarity and compassion.

10 Rituals for Daily Connection

Micro-habits that take 5 minutes or less, like morning hugs, evening check-ins, and weekly appreciation practices, that rebuild intimacy in small, sustainable ways.

Lifetime Access

Come back to the materials as often as you need. Relationships are lifelong practice. And this course will be here whenever you need a refresher.

YES, GIVE ME LIFETIME ACCESS - $57

Everything you need to interrupt the cycle, available right now

Everything You Need to Interrupt the Cycle

When you enroll in From Tension to Tenderness, you get immediate access to:

The Complete Video Training

A focused video lesson that walks you through the Pursuer/Withdrawer Cycle, the science of attachment, and the exact Tenderness Switch framework I use with my therapy clients.